October 04, 2019

Navigating the Currents

October 04, 2019/ Deb Roman

When I am moving through days or weeks with a very demanding schedule - a myriad of tasks to accomplish- frenetic energy often carries me from place to place - usually ineffectively - as I trip over my shoes on the floor or wash a full load of clothes on a small setting.

My body clearly reflects the continual forward momentum as I lean into the day, rarely allowing my shoulders to meet the back of a chair or even rest upright above my hips.

My thoughts consume most of my attention, as I negotiate ways to manage the expectations of a culture focused on achievement and image.

I embrace the illusion that I am navigating the currents without injury.

But as I ask myself to step back for a wider view, I more deeply experience the agitation that consumes the lion share of my energy. I notice the discomfort in my neck and the shallowness of my breath and become acutely aware of the depth of my fatigue.

My sterile checklist boasts a multitude of completed tasks, but lacks the messiness and unexpected that bring substance to my life. Even the unwelcome surprises, a lost suitcase, a struggling child, a serious illness - all vastly beyond my control, awaken me to the generosity of connection and engagement.

I step back even further and allow myself to feel the loneliness of my rapid pace and telescopic focus.

I gently bring my shoulders upright, welcome the support of the ground under my feet and quietly scan my inner and outer world. My awareness of community - the relationships that connect and sustain us - expands. I untether myself from the expectations that pushed me into high gear.

My next steps are slower, more flexible, less urgent - with my shoulders upright, I can now lift my head and be with the world.

April 06, 2017

Freedom from Isolation

April 06, 2017/ Deb Roman

My breathing provides a melody for a morning meditation, as varying degrees of raspiness are met by the audible rush of air.

I am reminded of an interview with Linda Ronstadt when she spoke of the subtle flavors of the notes.

Breathing in and out, I notice as my body moves in sync with the rhythm, expanding and contracting, lengthening and widening with each cycle, an active participant.

August 27, 2016

Radical Acceptance

August 27, 2016/ Deb Roman

An accident, an unexpected test result, a dismaying prognosis...

A flood of thoughts and intense emotions compete with my pounding heart and quickening breath for attention.

As my discomfort escalates, I struggle to make sense of the challenge that has emerged.

Why did this happen?

Is there something I could have done, something I should have known to prevent this or ensure a different outcome?

I scrutinize the details, searching for an explanation that will bring me peace.

December 22, 2015

Backbends and Blueberries

December 22, 2015/ Deb Roman

As she threw her hands over her head, effortlessly folding her tiny body backwards and upside down to reach the floor, she looked up at me and exclaimed:

“Like this, Dr. Deb. This is the position that helps me feel better.”

“What else?” I asked.

Without hesitation, she jumped up on the treatment table, flopped onto her belly and rested her chin in her hands. After a moment or two of complete silence, she looked straight at me, as if to emphasize the seriousness of the situation, and announced: "I need rest!

November 17, 2015

Darwin, Einstein and The Dalai Lama

November 17, 2015/ Deb Roman

Several years ago, I started asking myself: Why do I care for my children more than other children?

Shouldn’t my attention extend beyond my immediate family to include all children?

I bring this question to my classes, which at times feels a bit dramatic and rebellious, and I am heartened by the number of people who nod in agreement, admitting that they too have contemplated this question.